How to Baptize the Bible So That It’s Not a Dangerous Book, part 1

Interpretation is essential, and that requires hard work and collaboration.

Delighted that you’ve enrolled in our wildly popular online course via distance learning. We are so grateful that Elon Musk has paid everyone’s tuition in full. All you need to do to get the funds transferred to your account is to send this required information to privacyfirst@thiel.steal: full name and any aliases, postal address and email address, date of birth, place of birth, birth gender, current gender, political party affiliation, manufacturer of your current automobile or automobiles, a detailed list of every place outside the United States to which you have traveled, a complete list of any felony convictions and incarcerations.

Meet your professor, Herma Neuticks, Ph.D., Th.D., Michelle and Barack Obama Professor of Biblical Interpretation and Theological Relevance, The Divinity School of the Americas, San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Course Description: in this course, you will work your culos off, mastering the art of hermeneutics—that is, biblical interpretation. Both full-time and part-time students are encouraged not to take any other courses during this term; you will not be able to pass those courses while taking this one.

Part 2 will be posted soon. Be rested before you begin.