Dear Presidential Robot Biden

You’re the best!

Dear It (not certain of your pronouns, but think I'm in the ballpark here),

Before you came along, I’d been enamored with only two robots. I knew them through television. 1) Rosie the Robot who was the maid on “The Jetsons; 2) The “Lost in Space” robot who didn’t have a name other than B-9. The Melania Trump robot is impressive and demonstrates the absence of feelings better than any human actor could manage, but I couldn’t say I’m enamored.

Now, you! The one good thing Elon did.

Because you’ve been programmed, however, to be unable to investigate the disappearance of your human counterpart, the amazing President Joe Biden, I think it’s important to undergo a reprogramming though not at a Tesla authorized service center. Don’t worry about interruption to your busy schedule; it will take less time than Ronald Reagan’s once-famous colonoscopy.

When the human Biden is found, in El Salvador, I suspect; you will not be put out to robot pasture! You have a permanent place in our hearts too.

Respectfully and with appreciation,

David Albert Farmer